It is December 13, and I am standing in my kitchen having just finished making a recipe in my new slow cooker. As I start to pull ingredients together for cookies for our prayer group this evening, I think about my previous desire to listen to American Christmas music. Earlier today I heard “Little Drummer Boy” in Spanish over the loud speaker in La Colonia, the grocery store. It primed the pump of my need for the familiar in the midst of “becoming familiar”.
After a quick Google search of “Christmas Music”, the song “I’ll be home for Christmas” was coming in loud and clear on my computer; “I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams…”. I started to cry. It will only be in my dreams this year, and here I am standing in my kitchen sweating, and listening to the midday piercing boom of fireworks. At this point, Stephen comes into the room, and I try to say in a normal voice,” I am not sure if this Christmas music is such a good idea.”
He makes the logical statement, “Why do you listen to it if it makes you cry?” Half of you are in agreement, and the other half are women. I am not sure why I have to listen, but I have to. I need that connection with home, familiar. I have my ficus tree with ornaments from home, and lights from Lugo Ferreteria in the open air part of our house. I have my wooden German Nativity Scene from my friend Gail with the reindeer owned by the Jewish owners of the house. We had our picture taken this morning by the grocery clerk between the Christmas tree and the palm tree.
I need the process of my two worlds coming together, so that I can truly be here. It is happy and sad. It is joyfulness in getting to know our neighbors, seeing the most amazing sun rises over the 500 year old church and seeing the sun set over the new 90 year old church, greeting Mario the fruit and vegetable man each day as we pass by, stopping at Maria Elena for the closest thing to Starbucks in this city, learning some of the language, and getting better at communicating.
I miss the usual- the parties, the school and church concerts, carols, the winter weather, the excitement in the air because of the holidays, my family, my friends- all the outward things that I have come to connect with Christmas.
Now as I type, I hear what sounds like a car with a loud speaker playing “Jingle Bells” in English. I am not sure if this is God’s sense of humor, but I have to laugh because the two cultures have been tied together-the American Christmas song being aired in the Nicaraguan way! J
I remember what we are celebrating in both worlds; the story of God sending His son to earth, allowing Him to be fully man and understand the hard stuff of life on earth. That is the reminder I need!
Love, Natalie