Month: June 2014

Change of Plans

You have all heard the saying, no doubt, that “Life is what happens while you are making plans.” That could not be truer than in a place like Nicaragua. In the past few weeks we have had made our plans, but the Lord has changed our course (Proverbs 16:9).

Two weeks ago we went to our usual Saturday Bible Study, but God orchestrated it so that it was only us and the main family who was there. They were able to share a very difficult family situation, that we were able to support them in and hear the difficulties in their lives.

Friday was Stephen’s birthday. We had planned a quiet day at home just the two of us. In the evening, Stephen’s whole Bible study group came over with cake and soda pop to celebrate with him. It completed his birthday to feel so cared for by these guys in which he has invested .

Last night we were looking at the evening before us, thinking that we might be able to catch up on a few things. The doorbell rang and one of “Stephen’s guys” was at the door with his wife. The husband had brought a bag of mangoes a few days before, and today he was bringing mango nectar and mango jam with cinnamon. They stayed for about three hours, which is quite comical because we do not speak a lot of Spanish and they don’t speak English, but with the help of the computer and miming we were able to communicate. In the midst of the visit, another couple brought their baby over to visit. It was a full evening of laughing and learning, and something we would have missed had we gone with our plans.

I don’t always see these “interruptions” in a positive light, but God is softening me in this area. I am just finishing a study on Love, and it closes with a conversation between God and man. God asks, “How has your heart changed?” And man answers, “I no longer desire to live in order to get love. Now I want to give love- Your love that takes no thought of myself”. Honestly I have a ways to go in this, but I am growing!

 

June 20, 2014

Today I caught myself smiling several times as I headed down into town to meet my friend and “Spanish Instructor”, Sonja.

I was behind schedule which is not that big of a deal in this country, but I was moving on at a clip because I did not want to give the impression that I did not care about her.  I saw a school bus pass with the name of one of the Catholic schools on it, and about a half of block later I heard someone yell, “Natalia” several times. It was the daughter of our Spanish teacher. It warmed my heart to be recognized in this city that I still feel like a stranger sometimes.

I kept walking and passed by an old woman who sits on the same step day after day.  Sometimes I give her spare change and others I just say hello. As she noticed me, she says with a smile, “Mi Amor” (my love). It feels good to be recognized.

In my haste of leaving, I had remembered my Kindle to show Sonja the Duolingo program. I had remembered the song books from our church that I had covered. I had remembered the container of mango jam I had made to give to our friend Oskar, but I did not remember my Spanish notebook or a pen. The local “Office Depot” was on the way so I quickly headed into the air conditioned building to get the supplies. The usual procedure in this store (and others) is to put your backpack and other bags in a locker before shopping. Theft is big in this country, and they do not want their merchandise finding its way into your bag. As I walked over to place my bag in the locker, the security guard (also common in stores) waved me on and smiled. He was saying, “I trust you”. It feels good to be trusted!

I finally made it to the coffee place to meet Sonja. She greeted me with a smile, a hug, and a glass of water. We talked about her son’s birthday the day before, and the events of my week.

It’s a good day!

June 19, 2014
The rainy season has started! I am sitting in the house in the middle of the day. Cool wind is blowing through and I still marvel at how we live in the elements. Whatever happens outside we are keenly aware of inside. What was a routine to stay cool is now a routine to also keep things dry. I am definitely not complaining though. The rain is something to look forward to each day- it cools the air and the storms are impressive.
With the rainy season also has come more interaction and need in our Nicaraguan community. The majority of our fellow missionaries have gone home for June and July, so we are some of the few who are filling in the gap. Stephen has taken on the leadership of two men’s Bible studies. I am helping out with a women’s study. This means that Stephen and I are the ones these individuals come to in need. In many ways this is financial need. These are fellow believers who have situations like a child needing medicine because he is having difficulty breathing, a man needs money so he can get a police report so he can get a job, a couple has no money for food because he used the money for alcohol. The list continues.
The other needs are emotional. This week we have listened as people have share about alcoholism, abuse, broken relationships, no jobs, not having food, and suffering with physical pain.
The need is big, AND the need is bigger to respond graciously, to respond with what we have, and to be available. I am very aware of God asking us to give and care for our fellow believers, but to be honest; I am still overwhelmed with it all. I hear many of the Nicaraguans and other missionaries say, “God will provide”, and on one hand I believe that, but on the other I wonder how that can really happen. How will God be the “husband” to a woman who has suffered 32 years of mistreatment? How does he find work for men in an environment where unemployment is 40-50%? How does He make it possible for a child to see the doctor when the parents literally do not have money?
These requests come to us, we give and do what we can, I see my heart changing toward these people, but behind it is still a frustration. What if these situations are more for me to walk through than for them? This is tough stuff, but we take it a step at a time…I just have to remember that!

I have made my way to a local coffee shop- one that is eclectic as any you would find in Portland. This is one of my refuges.
This morning I left in search of a place to think and write, and I found myself in front of one of our many Catholic churches. The funeral carriage was out in front so I saw this as a cultural opportunity. The churches here are the standard cathedral type- long and narrow with areas on each side for life-size images of Jesus, Mary, and other saints. I found an open bench in the back with a few other people and watched as they sang, prayed, spoke, took an offering, and burnt incense.
What was more interesting to me was a three-year-old boy that was enthralled with a life-size statue of Jesus holding a lamb. For ten minutes he was captured by this statue. He would look up at it, lay down on the ground in front of it, go up to every person in the area and tell them about Jesus, pointing at him and sharing his joy. Occasionally, he would walk away and look at other statues, but he would always come back to Jesus. I cannot think of a better visual for what Jesus would want for my life. It is funny how one little event can have an impact. It makes me think about Matthew 18:3, “And he said: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.’” I have something to learn from this child.
I was not disappointed by this cultural experience. As I was sitting there watching this little boy and the funeral service in the front of the church, a crowd of about one hundred people carrying another coffin came in the back, laid the coffin down, sat down, and waited their turn. Of course, silence is not a common trait among the people here, so many side conversations were happening around me. The people in the front of the church looked like they were likely at the funeral of a grandmother or aunt, where as those surrounding me were more likely attending the funeral of a trendy, homosexual man. Two different groups of people, but both facing the inevitable death of someone they cared for.
The first funeral ended, the body was carried out to the waiting carriage, and within minutes the other coffin was put in place at the front of the church. The crowd moved up and the priest took his place.
The coffee shop I am sitting in is on the road between the church and the cemetery. Here in Nicaragua, all who attend the service, walk behind the horse-drawn carriage to the cemetery. I see the people pass in the solemn procession, and I wonder what is going through their minds.

Sunday’s Bible study started with us strategically placing our chairs to avoid being hit by mangoes, and ended with tears and requests for forgiveness.
We joke about the First World Problems- the air conditioner broke, we don’t have the money for a nice dinner AND a movie, etc., but yesterday our Third World (Developing/Majority World) problem hinged around the end of the mango season and the beginning of the storm season. The possibility of getting hit by falling fruit while sitting under a tree has gone up significantly. Yesterday there were no casualties to people, but the fatality of five mangoes. It is the price you pay for living in the tropics and we went home with two mangoes! 
The more significant event though was the family interaction. As we studied Christ the King, there was something else brewing in this family. Although they live a very different life than many of you, the issue of family hurt and division is very real. In the course of discussing how we live our lives letting Christ be the King, the discussion centered on how do you do this when we are at odds with those we live the closest. This is an all-world problem.
We talked with them, prayed with them, shared our experience with them, shared what the Bible says to them, and then watched them ask for forgiveness from each other. It was a precious time. We pray for them and ask you to pray for them too-Noel and Rosa’s family, that they would have the trust in God to make changes in them.
I understand what they are talking about. Sometimes it is easier to not ask for forgiveness, sometimes it is easier to carry a grudge, sometimes it is easier not to help out the other person, so just as we were talking, we are also learning.

Today’s blog comes to you as a compilation of a few different things I have read recently as well as my continued processing of living in Nicaragua rather than the USA. I so enjoyed my time there last week with family, and it will always be home to me, but my pondering brain picked up a few things that I have been ruminating.
Last week as I tried to stay current in news, I read an article called, “The World’s Most Miserable Countries”. Many of these countries were no surprise to me, but when I saw a reference to Nicaragua, I had to see what they were saying. The following is from the USA Today article:
According to Jon Clifton, managing director of the World Gallup Poll, a person’s financial situation is one of five factors affecting well-being and far from a conclusive happiness indicator. Nine of the most content countries had estimated GDPs of less than $15,000 per capita last year. In Lithuania — the third most miserable country — GDP per capita was $22,566. On the other hand, Nicaragua — the third most content country — had a GDP per capita of just $4,548.
This contentment is something that stands out about the Nicaraguans. They do not have much, and sometimes their easy-going attitude drives me crazy, but I have been blessed even this week by the contentment and joy of these people.
Secondly, Louis CK is a comedian that I was introduced to on Facebook. I give some disclaimer, but when I watched his clip with Conan O’Brien called “Everything is Amazing and No One is Happy” ( http://blog.petflow.com/if-you-grew-up-before-the-year-2000-you-will-laugh-hysterically-at-this/#ebekQp57pDLv2hVj.01 ), and I had to agree with this. It is funny and also poignant. Many of the slow things he talked about are still the way it is here, but things are changing.
So, my contentness has been challenged this month. Between my trip to the US, living extremely frugally, heat, continuing to seek direction for me, and cultural and language challenges, I wished a few things were different.
The part of me that seeks God, though, wants to respond differently. There are so many amazing things- avocados and mangos falling of the tree, the power of the rainstorms, Bible studies to encourage believers, great conversations with Stephen, and hopes for the future; sometimes I see the good things, but sometimes I only see the problems. My practices recently have been to start with thankfulness and then go from there, and then try to trust God to take care of the rest!
Love, Natalie

Last night around 8 PM, Stephen and I were just slipping into the pool to cool off from our walk over the park to investigate the off key music that was being blared over a crackly loud speaker. We found ourselves laughing at what was around us. The music in park had been an open-air revival on the back of a semi-truck. As we settled into the pool we could hear a woman sharing her testimony while there were competing sounds from the Catholic church; their statements came in the form of fireworks and a ragtag band. These two competing sounds did not drowned out the roof cat that seemed to be coughing up a hairball on the roof above us.
In previous blogs, I have mentioned the sensory overload in Nicaragua. This was a day without exception. After church we headed out to Pantanal, which is our usual Sunday routine. We have been involved in a Bible study for the past five weeks that resulted from relationships built through the Solarbag project. While Pantanal is only about 3 miles away, it is quite a process to get there, and a different world from Granada and a very different world from the US.
For us to get to Pantanal, we have to convince a cab driver that he wants to drive us out there, we squeeze five or six of us (including the driver) into an abused Toyota Corolla-type vehicle, and we wind through streets that are in a permanent state of repair (They really are trying to make improvements!).
In Pantanal it is not an exaggeration to say that dirt and garbage are everywhere. This time of the year it is dust and in a few weeks it will be mud- streets, floors, etc. The people work hard to keep their own personal space clean, but the wind, which is a refreshment in many ways, is also guilty of covering everything and everyone with a layer of dirt.
We meet at the home of a woman and her husband who have five daughters. Two of the daughters, their husbands and kids live on the same property as their parents. The parents have a sparse, but permanent home of cement and cinderblock; one of the girls’ homes is a lean-to of tin and rough wood. We sit in the yard in plastic chairs under the mango and starfruit trees, moving as needed to stay out of the intense heat of the sun. They are gracious to give us the best chairs, make sure we are out of the sun, and that we have something to drink.
Yesterday while we working on the Bible study with some of the family, the rest of the family was rebuilding the daughter’s home so that they will be ready for the rain that is coming. The pack of kids, eight girls and 1 boy, were running around. It was all chaotic and distracting, but in the midst of this all, people wanted to learn about Jesus.
Pantanal looks nothing like a church. Matter of fact it reminds me more of the quote by C.T. Studd: “Some people want to live within the sound of mission bells, but I want to run a mission, a yard from the gates of Hell” (crime, adultery, theft, incest, poverty). Quite honestly, I don’t really want to do that. In my heart I want to, but in my body and head I don’t want to. I question if I have it in me to give as this place asks me to give. But, I persevere in the promise that God is Able (and find some comfort too that I will be in the US for the week!)!

The first thing that comes to my mind is, “It has been a long time”. Rarely does God work in my timing, and the past few months have been evidence of this. I have seen witty and funny and other blog worthy things over the past few weeks, but as God has been tilling the soil of my heart, my fingers just would not type the words. Each day I have looked at my To Do list and seen “Blog”, but it would not come. So here is my attempt, because the time may just be right.
In my last blog I mentioned a book called Absolute Surrender. In the past few weeks, that is what God has asked me to do, and I have worked hard to fight Him on it. I figured that moving away from home, living in a difficult place, and getting married* was a very good attempt at absolute surrender, but God wanted more. I believe that He wants it for my good, but my good and my comfort are very different things.
Last week was Semana Santa (Holy Week). This is a mix between Spring Break in Florida and remembering the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. We would see trucks carrying people sun-kissed from the beach and then processions of people carrying Christ crucified through the streets. While in many ways I wanted to identify with the beach goers, it was more with the suffering that I related. I do not compare my suffering with Christ, but let me explain.
You know the song “Amazing Grace”, right? “ …who saves a wretch like me.” Honestly when I sing that song, I do not see myself as a wretch! I have been a good church-going woman, I have made something of myself as a teacher and administrator in a Christian school, I have made money and have been wise about spending, I have been able to physically move and go as I please, I have made good decisions and have acquired some great people in my life, I have communicated well (in English), I have been responsible with what God has given me, I have served him in other countries, and I have maintained a good relationship with my Lord and Savior.
So in the past few months, God has striped me of the “I haves” and it has been very painful! Honestly, I have wanted to get away from this lesson. I have asked God to change things. I have tried to solve the issues myself. I find myself in a place where I cannot be defined by what I do. I find myself in a place where I don’t have money to spend on groceries. I find myself physically unable to come and go as I want to due to leg pain and no vehicle. I find myself so wanting friends who know me well. I find myself explaining to people that I used to be communicator. I find myself not feeling like I have much to contribute to anything. I can tell you thought that I still have enough pride to not want to bend to God’s teaching. That is where the “wretch” comes in the picture.
I think I am seeing some of the bigger picture. I have been capable, and God is bringing me to the end of capable so I can truly depend on Him. I am not there yet, and I could really use your prayers in this. I am much more comfortable with the “I haves” than the “I find myself in”, but at night when I wake up with fears and I say “Jesus, Jesus” over and over and He comforts me so I can go back to sleep, I believe I am on the right path. He is breaking down walls of self-sufficiency.
Love, Natalie
• Marriage is listed here only because of the need to surrender oneself to another, not because it is a big challenge. 

Let me tell you about a few of my new favorite things.
An Umbrella (La Sombrilla)-Many of you from Oregon might judge me- “Who really needs an umbrella for rain?”. Here the umbrella is for the sun. It took me some time to conform, but many Nicaraguan women use them, and once I made the purchase, I was a believer. The umbrella deflects the intense heat of the sun, and I appreciate their shared wisdom.
The Pool (La Piscina)-I can’t really express how wonderful it feels to just know that as we are out and about in town that when we arrive home, we have an immediate way to cool off. In this city where I step out of the shower and get a sheen of sweat covering my face, you can image what it is like to see this welcome sight. Whether coming back from a walk to the grocery store or a Bible study in Pantanal with dust and dirt stuck to me by the sheen of sweat, the pool is instant cool. Our average dipping is 3-5 times a day, and we have found it a great place to study our Spanish vocabulary.
Mr. Mister (Mi Esposo)- Those of you around in the 80’s might be misled by the name of the music group, but this is my new name for Stephen. He purchased a spray bottle, filled it with water, and (trying to avoid TMI (too much information)) he sprays us down as we lay in bed. The combination of the mist, ceiling fan, and the open window is a blessed reprieve.
Absolute Surrender (Un Libro)- A small book by Andrew Murray, that was recommended to me by Stephen. I was not really interested because it sounded too difficult in a place that already demands a lot, and quite honestly, to have a spouse recommend a book about surrender seems a little suspect.  But when I was the recipient of a kinder, more caring husband, I figured I should at least take a look at it. What I found was a book sharing the honest truth about what God has for us, shared in a way that makes me want what He has to offer. I have not finished the book; it is one of those that I read bit by bit because I need to think about what it says, but let me leave you with a few quotes:
“Father, let the Holy Spirit have full dominion over me, in my home, in my temper, in every word of my tongue, in every though of my heart, in every feeling toward my fellow-men. Let the Holy Spirit have entire possession.”
“And yet some of us want God to give us a little help while we do our best, instead of coming to understand what God wants, and to say: ‘I can do nothing. God must and will do it all.”
So, He is changing me for the good; through His word, His work, and my blessed husband!

This was written last week when our internet was down. In this coming week, we plan to get a newsletter out to catch you up on the events of the past month.
March 26, 2014
Morning in Granada
We have been completely spoiled over the past few months. Between traveling and receiving American treats, I have added a few pounds; uncomfortable when I can hide it with sweaters, but very uncomfortable in too-tight shorts and 100 degrees Fahrenheit.
With the above in mind, I started exercising in the morning. At 6 AM the sun is coming up, and it is a balmy 85. I am not alone in this venture. Most people around here know that if you want to get anything done, it needs to be in these early hours.
I pass Pedro who yells out “Good Morning” in his best English. You have” met” Pedro before. He is the “night whistler”- the neighborhood security man who circles the neighborhood on his bike, keeping us safe. Stephen has developed an acquaintance with him, and has learned that he is armed with a cell phone with the number for the police department, an extension rod that only extends 8 inches due to rust, and a friendly smile.
Imenta’s house is right by the bridge- outdoor washing, outdoor cooking, and once again a big smile, and friendly hello as she returns from the pulperia in her beautiful blue house dress.
My walking destination is the track. The land-of-the-not-quite-right has struck again. Three sides of a large rectangular block have a wide, concrete walkway with grass in the middle. The fourth side has a rock wall across it that must be sashayed around in order to complete the circuit. Regardless of the challenge, it is a busy place in the morning.
A dad dressed in a security guard uniform walks his preteen daughter to school; he carries her lunch box. A dedicated man runs the track wearing a full track suit, and a fifty-something women passes me with a pink shirt that says, “Be an athletic supporter”. I am sure she does not know what she is advertising, but this is a common sight in this second hand culture. 
We are hitting the heat of our summer here. The sun is right overhead as it heads up to the Northern Hemisphere. Even the Nicaraguans say it is hot. After walking down to a friend’s house yesterday, coming home in the heat of the day, I decide that I have a new goal: Survive this time of the year with my relationship with Jesus thriving. Most of you know me as a goal-oriented person. I still am, but I have to boil it down to what is most important. I don’t feel like I have a lot of reserves right now, and I know that if Jesus is first then the rest will fall into place.
This morning I take one extra lap around the track to avoid the ogling of the garbage men; even an aging, overweight, American gets attention here. Another good day in Granada! 