Month: February 2015

“All this pain I wonder if I’ll ever find my way?

I wonder if my life could really change at all?”

I am driving into Granada, and the music has rotated back around to “You Make Beautiful Things”. The beginning words sound harsh, but I know that over the past year and a half I have wondered. Will I find my way in this land that is so different? Can I change in this marriage that causes me to look at myself and question what has been so normal but selfish?

“This song All this earth Could all that is lost ever be found? Could a garden come up from this ground at all?”

The huge, hulking volcano to the south looks bigger in the twilight, the setting sun casts an orange glow, making what is so dirty in the daytime seem pleasant. The city comes alive at this time of the day: people, animals, cars, buses moving freely, enjoying the reprieve from the heat, and happy to be out among friends.

“You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of the dust You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of us”

“Hunger for More”, the name of the study from that morning, says it all. I would like to say that I always want more of God, but really it is hard to be vulnerable, to hurt in front of others;  it is a lesson in knowing God, in letting myself be changed.

“All around Hope is springing up from this old ground Out of chaos life is being found in You”

Last week we had  28 at our new neighborhood Bible study- a wonderful confirmation that people are wanting hope. God supplied the people, but he also took care of the “chaos” from the week before. $100 bought us 20 chairs, a friend donated a case of Bibles, a couple offered to supply us with treats each week, and a man at slipped me a $20 bill, “Use it for your ministry”.

“You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of the dust You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of us”

This afternoon Yescana and Jonathan came over. They are neighbor teens who are interested in learning English. I think they also want something that will make a difference in their lives. We laughed, we talked, they learned some English and I learned some Spanish, but mostly we started a friendship.

“Oh, you make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of the dust You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of us”

I am finding that I am not as quick to criticize, I am a little more trusting that God will provide, I am not as angry, living outside the city has been good for us, not isolating like I thought. And these people are not just Nicaraguans, but Victor, Oscar, Tania, and Isabel.

“You make me new, You are making me new You make me new, You are making me new Making me new”

Modified from: Gungor – Beautiful Things Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Many of you have seen pictures of the cat who adopted us from the first day we moved into our new home. As we opened up the gate, he sat on the fence across the street and meowed insistently at us. We could not touch him, but he wanted us to know that he was there.

He kept his distance for the first week. We would see him in the corner of the yard, or he would venture onto the porch if we did not come outside. With him, we could be on the porch with him, but if we moved in his direction he ran. My “catness” saw this as a challenge.  To win the trust of this little guy meant more than all of the dogs that come up freely wanting attention.

I remember the first time that he ventured into the house.  Cautiously looking around, ready to dart if he needed to.  I knew that Stephen was not interested in having a cat, but inside I rejoiced that I might have won over this precious creature.

A few days later he let me touch him. He loved the attention, but I think it scared him too. He was used to being wild and having to fend for himself, and it seemed that he was a little scared to get too comfortable.

One morning as I was cautiously petting him, Stephen said, “We should feed him and take care of him!”

Stephen, you do realize this means he would be our cat, right?” He smiled. I love that!

Over the intervening weeks, Queso, our cat, has become more and more comfortable with domestic living. The morning I came out of our room and saw him lounging on the couch, I knew we had him. He was a little sheepish about it, keeping eye contact with me to see if I would shoo him away.

Now he lets us hold him, on his terms, and he purrs like crazy any time you scratch his head. He greets us in the morning and meows insistently until we both pet him. He seems thrilled to have a home- sitting on the rug like a sphinx.

The other thing about him is that he does everything with gusto- if he is hungry, he meows loudly, if he is tired, he naps all sprawled out, if he wants to be pet, he rubs up against your leg with purpose, if he wants to play, he gets his whole body into it, when he walks, the combination of the slightly bowed front legs with a backend swagger that moves with his tail is awkwardly precious.

He is fun to have in our lives, for both of us, most of the time! It is nice to be trusted.