We arrived back in Nicaragua on August 10th, and for the first week we vacationed here. That in and of itself was an adventure at times, but it was a good adventure!
We spent 3 days at a retreat center owned by some friends, just outside of Managua. This was such a generous gift to us, as they also loaned us a car to use during this time; it was wonderful to have time in the hammock, watch some Olympics, and enjoy the solitude.
Our next stop was a place just south of San Juan del Sur, so we thought! What was described as 7 kilometers down the road was really 22 kilometers up mountains and into valleys. We arrived in the dark after being lost for about 5 hours, but when we woke up the next morning, we found ourselves with an amazing view point overlooking the Pacific Ocean, with Costa Rica on one side, and the tranquil beach of Playa del Coco on the other- truly amazing!
Our final stop was La Boquita. My mom has prayed for me to find “parents” wherever I go, and we have found that in our friends, Terry and Carol. The four of us spent 2 days in an apartment overlooking a different part of the Pacific. The beach had rock formations that allowed for soaking pools to form with the tide. We could have stayed there all day, and have the sunburns to prove it!
On our return to Masatepe, we were reminded of the benefit of working with a team; we came back to hugs, “We missed you”, “How was your trip?”, and a feeling of being home!
This week we have picked up our work- way more than either of us can get too right now, but I am feeling hopeful and sustained.
Hopeful for a good beginning and direction in ministry. Hopeful that in the near future we will be able to purchase a car (A BIG THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO ARE MAKING THIS POSSIBLE). Hopeful that God is weaving us into this story in Masatepe. Hopeful that God is going to use me to impact others, and hopeful that he is going to use the difficulties of the past to bring light into the future.
And sustained through our time in Elgin to better understand Iteams and myself better. Sustained by the focus on Soul Care during that time, and the turning point it was to me to look at the past and choose to move on. Sustained with good times with friends and family in Oregon; It feeds my soul to be with people who know and love me. Sustained by having down time in order to focus on God and Stephen; building better patterns of time together with both.
And friends to be honest, I am getting back into communion with God. As a missionary I am not supposed to admit that (nor am I supposed to share about vacations J) It is not that God and I have not been talking, but our conversations have been less than hopeful. He has taken me on a journey over the past few years; one of identity.
Everything I have relied on has been taken away in one form or another over the past few years; security, independence, transportation, money, friends, comfortableness, health, work, purpose, and language.
Then God asks, “Am I enough?” I did not want the answer to be “yes”, and sometimes I still do not want it to be “yes”, but I am seeing the sweetness of a God who cares for me beyond what is comfortable.
He is a God who has walked me through the dark times, so that He could use me in the light. I needed that, and the great thing is that He knew that, and He is loving enough to help me change!
PS: A big thank you to Stephen, too, who has walked graciously with me on this journey!
You are such an inspiration to me. God bless you always!
I so appreciated this post Natalie. Especially this sentence which rang so true to me, “Then God asks, “Am I enough?” I did not want the answer to be “yes”, and sometimes I still do not want it to be “yes”, but I am seeing the sweetness of a God who cares for me beyond what is comfortable.”