Category: Uncategorized

I wish I could bring you to my world right now and let you experience it.

There is almost always the smell of something burning in the air. It might be from cooking fires, but usually it is garbage and debris. Today it is our cuidador(caretaker) who is maintaining the large property by raking up leaves and burning them in piles. Today his three girls are helping him; raking, picking up leaves, giggling, and giving each other rides in the wheelbarrow. The smell is not bad, it just lingers and mixes with the smell of the black beans and spices that are cooking in the slow cooker.

A wonderful breeze blows through the house; a house filled with windows of slated glass. I love hearing the sound of the wind in the trees and seeing the fluttering of the leaves on the coffee plants that surround us. The dust blows in with this wonderful breeze, but I would not give it up, and I am learning why people cover anything important around here.

We have free-range chickens clucking and pecking around the property, and a pitbull named Candy that craves attention so much that if you pet her she will either pee or jump up on you; we have learned not to pet her, but she is faithfully by our door when we eat just in case we have leftovers. Also, I just saw an amazing squirrel- the kind I have seen in books but not in real life. It was grayish white with a wide black stripe down its back. This is the first squirrel I have seen in Nicaragua. And those chickens are now walking past the front door. All I see are their bobbing heads on the other side of the porch.

This week our transportation to and from the farm (la finca) has been tuk-tuk or moto-taxi as they call it here in Masatepe. It is kind of a motorcycle with three wheels and a covered bench in the back. Every morning I have called Javier and I have been able to communicate with him that we need a ride into town. He always says more than I understand, but I just repeat where I am and what I need, and he has faithful arrived at the farm. He smiles slightly as if he is not sure about coming all the way out to the farm, but he keeps coming!

Masatepe has such a different feel than Granada. The town feels more friendly and safe, less harsh, not the same number of mansion type houses, but also not the same number of people in extreme poverty. It is not that there is not the same neediness but it is just that there are fewer people here. It feels like a more manageable community to help care for.

Our beginning here has been with stops and starts; twice we have heard that we could move into a house, and twice we receive a call the next day saying that plans have changed. Twice we have prayed that if it is not the right house that God would let us know. So we continue to live with boxes all around us.

We have been working in the office this week, attached to the coffee shop. It is not set up yet, but it should be in the coming months. We had dinner with our co-workers, and the relationships are beginning. I have my second day of teaching tomorrow for 7^th, 8^th and 9^th English classes, and today to scheduled our intensive Spanish classes.

We are beginning.

 

 

No doubt we are in a new surrounding! As I type I hear multiple roosters competing for attention, and a hen that sounds more like a howling dog. When I got up at 4:20 AM to use the bathroom there was a tarantula in the shower. I went back to bed, and unfortunately at 6 he was not in the shower anymore.

Our first full day here we visited the local hardware store. We were greeted by a guard with a shot gun and shopkeepers who were happy to help as we stood in front of the counter and pointed to what we wanted.

We arrived Tuesday night and our wonderful friends, the Butlers, picked us up at the airport. After customs relieved us of Stephen’s drone (L), we were on our way!

Wednesday morning the Butler’s drove us up to Masatepe where we met with our new teammates and started the house hunt which is still going. We have settled in for the short-term to a Finca (Farm) about 2 kilometers outside of town. The pastor and his wife, who made their home available to us, also have loaned us a Jeep.

The house is a little rustic compared to our home in Granada, but it comes with space, a refreshing breeze, and amazing stars at night. Each evening we have arrived back to the farm after dark, last night with no electricity or water, to a “river” of leaf cutter ants going from one part of the property to another- this is amazing but it still freaks me out!

The “refreshing” breeze has almost been cold- I never thought I would say that here in Nicaragua! We have been wearing long paints and have needed the “widow maker” that heats our water and is attached to the showerhead.

Two days after we arrived, a vision team came down to start a conversation with the Nicaragua pastors of how best to work together. It has been enjoyable to be part of these conversations; it has been a good introduction to this new area of ministry!

Please pray for our housing options and continued support! We have been living out of suitcases for about three months, and the novelty has worn off. I don’t know the specific numbers right now, but we are getting very close to what is needed for our support. We have been amazed by the generosity of so many people and appreciative of God’s provisions!

This morning when I was walking, relishing the cold on my skin and even the rain, this picture came to me of boxes of faith. I saw the boxes sitting around in a room; some boxes were full, others were partially full, and one had just a few things in it.

The verse that came to mind was, “Store up treasures in heaven….Matthew 6:20”, although I must admit I am going on a tangent in some ways in respects to the meaning of this verse.

What filled these boxes was very specific. The family box had pictures of times with our parents and siblings over this Christmas season: Christmas programs, theatre (dig-a-dig-a-dig), Thanksgiving day eating and games, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, 18 hours with my sister and nieces good meals and long, needed conversations face-to-face. This box was overflowing with good memories!

Another full to overflowing box was friends; it contained pictures of us in different coffee shops, restaurants, and people’s homes talking, laughing, crying, sharing, encouraging and being encouraged. There are pictures a trip with a good friend to Astoria, other times reliving old friendships and the fun of building new friendships. Each visit, we came away feeling the encouragement it is to have other people care for us!

A partially full box contained our time in Chicago for Orientation with International Teams. We were welcomed into a family that gave us safety and relationship. We learned about the organization, but also we got to know future team members. It was a valuable time of connecting but also an opening of a door that is bigger than us-How will we raise the needed funds? How will we come together as team?

Another partially full box is our fundraising endeavor. As much as it has been awkward at times, we have so valued getting to share our story with so many people, and then seeing how God is going to work to provide for us. It is one of those hard but good things, but we have appreciated the time it has given us with people.

The nearly empty box is Masatepe and our future ministry. There are so many unknowns-where will we live? What is our specific ministry? How will God provide for us, not just financially, but relationally, spiritually and emotionally? More questions than answers, but we know just enough to keep us moving in the right direction.

So here is the thing about these faith boxes- some are full and some almost empty, but God knows which ones need to be filled so that those that still have room in them can be steps of faith rather than steps of fear. God has given Stephen and I tremendous encouragement knowing we have a team of people behind us in this adventure. This has allowed us to see those boxes that still need to be filled as something exciting t to how God will provide! The questions are still there but they don’t seem as scary.

PS: As of today we are at 79% of monthly needed support and 70% of one-time needed support! Thank you to God and you!!!!!

 

“I need a silent night, a holy night, to hear an angel voice through the chaos and the noise”.*

As I pulled away from Starbuck this morning after coffee with a friend, this song came on the radio, and it made me cry.

Not a sad cry, but a “I met with God ” cry; a time of feeling that through no work of my own that God had once again dropped blessings in my life. I had “hear an angel voice through the chaos and the noise”

The friend I met with has been walking the road of cancer for the past few years. Some things have worked and some things have not, and her future continues to hang in God’s balance. Her road has been very different than my road, and we both agree that we are not sure that we would want to be in each other’s’ shoes. What we do connect over though is the power and clarity that comes when we have walked through challenging and uncertain times, and we realize that God is walking right beside us.

As our time was wrapping up a mutual friend came in. A year ago she lost her husband suddenly to a heart- attack. Although sadness is still very real to her, she thanks God for the people in her life and is trusting God to lead her next steps.

There was another woman there who is the mother of a former student of mine. She shared the joy it has been to see the change in her son as he has experienced life in other countries, and his recent adoption of a baby boy.

I came away with a feeling of being blessed, that God had let me into the lives of these precious women. Not the cleanly swept lives, but the real up and down lives of people following God.

On my way home, I needed to stop by the grocery store. The feeling there was hurry. I practically ran into an acquaintance and the first thing she asked, was “Are you ready for Christmas?”. I fumbled a bit feeling a little unsure of how to answer.

As I made my purchases, the checker also asked if I was ready for Christmas. I found myself somewhat annoyed and unable to answer the question again. I gave a quick “yes”, knowing that the question was an attempt to make conversation with those going through the line.

As I thought more about it, I realized what was making this challenging for me. I knew that the answer people were looking for to the question, had to do with gifts purchased, food made, and a clear “to do” list. I could mostly answer yes, but I did not feel like it really answered the question.

I felt like the real being ready for me has more to do with the feeling I had after spending time with my friends at the coffee shop, blessed and aware of God’s presence. I feel like I am more ready to receive his gift of salvation when I see his work in other people’s lives than when I have my list completed. God continues to change me.

*I Need A Silent Night, Amy Grant 2015 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRSSsNbF29I

I am pretty timid when it comes to putting my foot down about things. I tend to want to hear where others are coming from before I make a declaration. Some people say diplomatic, others would say playing it safe, others might say people pleaser. I think that at different times all of those are true.

So right now I am putting myself out there, and I guess my biggest fear is that I would be shut down and put in a box as an out of touch missionary.

My last post was a few days into our trip here in the US and I shared my fear of becoming desensitized to the world that God has let me be a part of in Nicaragua. To be honest, I have more things that I like about America than Nicaragua, but I think I have become a better Christ-follower because of my time there.

For the past two Sundays we have attended two different Bible believing churches, both of them with strong Christ-followers in them, and in both of them we sang songs about wanting more of Christ, more of heaven, and more changed lives. But honestly when I left both I could not help but feel that people were not completely satisfied with the experience.

I do not believe that it is for lack of desire that being a Christian in America is a bit flat. It is not necessarily the church, who is upfront with the music or speaking, nor the structure of the program, but what it is, goes so counter-culture to us that we don’t really see it.

I feel like I only have received a glimmer of it because of the last two years of my life; years that at different times I would have chosen to step out of.

What comes to my head is that if my goal in life is to make sure my comforts are taken care of, then I am really missing out on what God has for me. I am misdirected and I will always be dissatisfied with my walk with God.

I have found in this past year that there is something powerful about not being able to put things together for myself and seeing God work in the midst of that neediness for the sake of others. It has been a time of wrestling with God and having Him come up the victor, and me accepting that my life of privilege has kept me at the center.

I know this is true when I have the opportunity to share what I am thankful for, and what gushes out is an immense thankfulness for things that are not comfortable and how God uses it for good- that is not a natural human response!

In many ways I think that you who live in a land of plenty have it more difficult. The “needs” are everywhere. It doesn’t take me more than 2 minutes in Target to see all the things I am missing out on and “need” to make my life better.

It is a constant battle to see what the real needs are; it might not involve a new coat or a trip to a sporting event, but it might involve something more expensive-my life. That is not easy, but in my bit of experience the return is amazing!

We arrived back in the US in the same way that we live in Nicaragua, Plan B, C, D or E. Everything went well on the Nica side, we left close to on time, and arrived in the US close to on time. But our hour and a half connection time in Houston was not nearly enough to make it through Customs when the world is still reeling from the recent events in Paris. The numbers of people being processed were in the thousands, and we got checked in ways we had never been checked before.

So our Plan B was to stay the night in Houston, leave the hotel at 3 AM to catch a 5:30 flight to Denver and then on to Portland, arriving around 9:30 AM to a cold, rainy Portland. Both Stephen and I stopped when we exited the airport breathed in the cold, crisp air, and were so thankful to be at our final destination with family and friends.

In the past month and a half, since we have been aware of what the next steps are for us, we have been planning for this time. All of our good-bye parties, and good-byes have been because we knew we would be in enjoying time with friends and family in the US in the middle of November. All of our packing, moving of our stuff, and finding a home for our cats has been because we knew that that we would be switching gears from hot, sticky Nicaragua to the cool weather of Oregon. This transition has been thought through, prayed through, discussed, been looked forward to with great anticipation, and is now our reality.

We are excited about being able to talk freely with those around us, not seeing garbage everywhere, being able to flush toilet paper and having amenities in public bathrooms, seeing things that are beautiful and well maintained, and are looking forward to being able to find and buy things that we can only dream of in Nicaragua.

Here is the rub though, and it comes from a quote that a missionary friend of mine posted on Facebook some time back, “When you are a missionary, you can never go home.” When I first read that, my thought was that it was a nice sentimental saying that might be cross-stitched for a missionary couple retiring from the field, but it has been picking away in my brain over the last few months, and it all came together this morning as I woke up way too early with a mind that is trying to process where we are now.

As much as Nicaragua has had its difficulties for me, and I am way more comfortable in cool Oregon with all the amenities, my home is now split in at least two places. The beautiful brown faces that we left that hung out on our front porch until the final departure, who brought us bananas, ripe papayas, and fresh cheese and milk, who really have no understanding that these are not reasonable gifts when you are packing up everything you own and getting on an airplane, but who do it because it is what they have and they want to express their appreciation to us.

I am somewhere between wanting to immerse myself in life here in the US- the things, events and opportunities, but scared that they will swallow up the more simple things of people, God’s work, and intentional-ness of my life in Nicaragua.

Last Monday was a very full day! The event was having 30 or so people over in the evening for dinner. This group was Stephen’s beloved Character Development Group of guys. He wanted to thank them for being a part of the group and share one last meal before everything changes. Stephen was considering continuing with this group after we moved away, but wants to invest completely in Masatepe.

At 11:00 AM I met Fatima at La Colonia to buy what was needed for dinner. She was going to be cooking for the group- yea! But someone needed to be there to pay for it all. We speed through the air-conditioned supermarket, knowing that there was much to do when we got back to the house.

Arroz Valenciana was the plan for the night- rice, chicken, vegetables and all glued together with ketchup. I had made it the Thursday night before for our neighbors, but I could already tell that Fatima would take it to an all new level.

She got cooking and chopping, the house heated up. I hated to turn on the oven, but I wanted to make a birthday cake for Oscar, our faithful friend over the years. What is another few degrees when the house is in the 90s?

The house smelled great, and right as Fatima was getting to clean up time, the water stopped. The men who were working at our house broke the water main. Visions of a desperately needed shower disappeared in an instant. Fatima was unable to clean up the cooking mess, but life must go on.

The men who were working understood my frustration- they had half-mixed cement in great need of water. The boss quickly ran off and was back to fix the water issue 20 minutes before our company arrived.

Some people came in “Christian Nica time” (something I heard referred to this morning in church), which is close to on time, and other came in “traditional Nica time”, which is closer to 30 minutes late. Our friend Jesse used his truck to pick up people living far from our house.

Once they all arrived we got the party started; color crayons and paper for the kids, conversation for the parents. Food was next, and while everyone was very polite, it did not take long for 3 large pans of food to disappear!

After we ate, Stephen encouraged/admonished the men to stay true to God and to each other. What worked in this group was that they confided in their struggles with each other, and sought God together to keep them strong.

Stephen finished the time together going one by one and sharing the strengths that he sees in each of them. It is great to see these young men beam when they were singled out for goodness in their lives.

Our time together closed with prayer and about a million pictures and hugs! As they rode off in the packed pick up truck, hoping to beat the rain, and with smiles on their faces, we too had smiles on our faces and content hearts. It is a powerful joy to care for others and to be cared for by them in return!

We meet Yadira’s family about two years ago. They were one of the first homes that we placed the Solarbag into, and one of the first people we met who when we asked if she would like us to have a Bible Study with her and her family, she heartily replied, “Si”.

You have heard about Yadira and her family in other blogs, and you have seen pictures of her and her family on Facebook and in our newsletters. She is a woman who will turn 50 in 3 months, but she looks much older due to a hard life and difficult relationships. She and her family have trusted us with very personal stuff, and they have expressed such delight and trust as we talk with them about what it is to live a life of faith in Jesus.

One thing that stands out about them and has touched my heart is that when we talk with them about depending on Jesus in difficult situations, I know that they are really living that. I have so much to learn from them about faith and what it means when there is nowhere else to turn, and when the struggles are still so real, that Jesus is the only answer. Even writing this, I realize that I do not completely get this, and honestly I don’t want to have to get it, but they live this.

They have stayed true to God in broken relationships, in abuse, in alcohol related problems, in poverty, in death, tears, and the fears that come and overwhelm in the middle of the night.

We love this family for all these reasons, which is one of the things that made last Friday difficult. We knew that we would be sharing news with them that would cause separation. To make matters worse, as we sat down in the preschool chairs in their dirt front yard, we watched as the local bus hit and killed their dog. The responses were ambivalence to curiosity; a response that is common in a life that is hard.

We told them the news of our departure from Granada, and they were visibly sad. Then they proceeded to tell us what they have appreciated about our friendship, and how God is helping them in their situations. It is hard to explain how people with so little can be such an encouragement to those of us with so much.

This is one step in this season of goodbyes. It is a time of sadness and blessing!

There is nothing like a little Keith Green to get me back in God’s frame of mind.

Stephen and I have had some trying days, as he has spent his days 5:30 AM to 7:00 PM with the mechanic. The time starts with 3 hours on the bus in rush hour traffic, includes the heat of the city, and ends with the same rush hours with other people who cannot wait to get out of Managua.

I have spent days at home, doing laundry or cooking, or taking the bus into Granada for Spanish classes, Bible studies, and trips to the market.

The weather has been warmer than usual due to very high humidity. The temperature has been in the low 90s, but with the humidity they say it feels more like 105. I can vouch for the feeling!

All that to say that with the present situation, the news of the shooting in Oregon, and breaking my favorite can opener (the straw, but definitely a minor issue), have all come into a pile in my mind of discouragement.

Yesterday when it appeared that I was on my own for Bible study with our neighbors, meaning that I got to cook dinner, make a cake, do the grocery shopping, prepare the kids program and the adult study, and clean up at the end, I had a bit of a pity party. Does anyone else do this?

The idea might have been planted by a message from our pastor at Cedar Mill Bible Church, the importance of singing and worship; God’s call to plant His truths in our hearts. There is something about hearing the words to songs like “Make My Life a Prayer to You” and “I’ll Take Care of the Rest” that have changed what I focus on.

This week, I had a wonderful Bible study time with my Spanish teacher in the air conditioned gas station minimart with “Uptown Funk” and “Happy” playing in the background.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a manager in grocery store about the difference between Christian and Jehovah Witness beliefs. He wants to spend more time with Stephen and I.

Last night, all the details for the Bible study came together very well. We sat around laughing, talking and eating, 13 kids wedged on our couch watching a video about the Bible while the adults discussed the truths of Scripture. All of that topped off with hugs and goodbyes by our precious neighbors.

And finally on a lighter note, who wouldn’t enjoy watching the fun that a kitten can have with a plastic chair and a quarter

So for this moment I choose to not focus on the laundry, the heat or the car, but on God’s work in the midst of it- the eternal things!

Dalia II, Part II

 

I am not sure where to start- there is nowhere near the emotion of our last trip, and while that usually makes a better story, honestly I am thankful! So much is attached to strong feeling and emotion here, so it is nice to have things work out kind of how they were planned.

We left at 2 AM, picked up the pastor at 3 AM in Managua and started the trip up into the mountains. We arrived in “the last civilization”, Dalia I at 5:45 AM hoping to pick up a few last supplies before heading out. We waited a bit for the markets to open, purchased what was needed then began the real adventure!

The road was not any better due to more rain in the past few weeks, but we did go on the right road (the long way), and it was amazingly different in a 4 wheel drive. We did not bottom out, we climbed the hills, we forded the creeks, and we had a little bit more room than we did not the first trip. What a difference.

We arrived there early, and while waiting we had sweet coffee and tortillas.

Around 9:30 with the church full of people (maybe 80 people), we got started. The pastor prayed then Stephen started sharing the details of the bio-sand filter. He talked them through it, did a demonstration of how to put one together and then he had two men show him how to build one. Questions were asked and answered, and people seemed to be enjoying themselves as they learned.

The final part of our time together was for the people to put together their buckets. Stephen had brought the hardware and tools while the people provided their own buckets. There was a sort of an assembly line with drills, saws, hammers going. It was great to see them enjoying the borrowed tools. In total there were about 30 buckets that were ready to be used as filters, and a promise to help others as they get their own going.

Meanwhile, I handed out color sheets and crayons to the kids, and note cards and pens to the women. They have so few things, that simple colored notecards and envelopes seemed precious to them. Kids of all ages wanted to color, and I took home quite a few autographed pictures.

As things wrapped up, and the people were filling up their buckets with gravel and sand, we were ushered into the hot, dark house for a great meal of fried chicken, beans, rice , salad, tostones and cheese. We would once again be well fortified for our ride home.

We got back on the road at around 2 PM, and arrived back in Granada at 7:30 PM, just in time to return the rented truck- what an amazing difference that truck was for our trip! The cost of the trip exceeded what we had to spend, but it is hard to quantify helping people with basic needs. A huge thank you to those who helped with this trip! We are your hands and feet right now.

All in all, it was a “boring” trip- just as I had hoped it would be! Thank you for your prayers!