Author: Natalie Goff

This week has full, overwhelming, joyful, exhausting, and right now I am glad to be enjoying a quiet Saturday afternoon to reflect on the week. You received two requests for prayer for us this week, and we were overwhelmed and thankful for your words of encouragement, prayers prayed, and just knowing that we have so many people behind us in this way of following God’s leading!

I want to share this week with you because hopefully the highs and lows will be an encouragement to your own walk with God.

In a sense this was a normal week for us in Nicaragua, as it included very few of the normal things we do. This seems to be normal, and it is one of the things that I find challenging.

MONDAY-LUNES

As most of you know, we have a car that has had some extended issues with overheating. Recently we have marked our trips to Managua with the places that the car has overheated. The past three weekends it has been with the mechanic, so last Monday when I was to drive to Managua to train teachers for the first time at Trinity Christian School, Stephen did his best to make sure that everything was in working order for my afternoon trip. We were counting on things working well, because we had a full afternoon/evening planned for the car. I was going to  Managua from 12:30-4:30, then returning to teach two English classes at our house from 5-7 PM, while Stephen took the car to pick up guys for his group from 5-9 PM. Best laid plans…

About 45 minutes from the house the car suddenly spiked HOT! I pulled over immediately, trying to find a place with some shade, and off the road to avoid further damage to the car. Car trouble is the area that I feel most vulnerable, so my stress level that was hovering around 5, spiked with the cars thermometer.

Marcel to the rescue: within minutes of me stopping and raising the hood, a precious young man named Marcel stopped on his motorcycle. He helped me from start to finish; a hose had burst, he went and got what he needed, returned and cut out and reattached the hose, reassured me, I understood his Spanish and empathy, got me on the road to the mechanic, and would not take the little bit of money that I had to offer him. “In Nicaragua, it is tranquilo (calm)”, he said. His presents was calming, and he was a HUGE blessing to both Stephen and me!

No working at Trinity today, but maybe we could still savage some of our evening plans.

The mechanic checked out the car, saying it was okay for now but to have Stephen bring it in the next day.

On arriving home I got an email from Patricia who has helped us with our residency. The process that has had much prayer over the past eight months, seemed to be imminent. If we could be at Immigration by 7 AM, then we would get our residency that day. WOW! Change of plans. We needed a working car and money for the process.

It was 4:15, so we needed to get moving! We canceled English and Bible study walked the few minutes to the bus stop from our house (our car would not start), rode into town, Stephen went to rent a car, and I went to the bank to withdraw money. We drove home in the smallest, baby blue car I had ever seen, hoped for the best for the adventure the next day. We would have to leave early the next morning!

The Sadness of An Almost Surrendered Life

It all feels personal- the broken car, the disagreement with Stephen, the small study group, the lack of work for me to do at the school, sickness, a lack of something I am good at, the lack of a good friend. It lays on me, allowing tears to stream down my face at a moments’ notice.

God is our strength our shield, that sounds a lot like battle, and quite honestly, I want the god of the spa, the god of plenty of money, the god of the car in complete working order. But I have no more power over the god of the spa than I have over the God who is my strength and shield, and quite honestly I wish I did.

In my thinking, I wish He would run things by me before they happen. “For the next few months you are going to have a car that works intermittently. Are you okay with that?” or “All your character is going to be challenged extensively over these next few years. Will that work for you?”

Then I could make a deal with Him, “How about only a week for the car situation and a day or two regarding the character issue?”

He doesn’t work that way. And while I would like to say that I can embrace the challenge, that I am okay not relying on the comfort of people and things, I am struggling with living for Him. I am overwhelmed with the place he has me.

What I do know is that he is the “God who sees”. He sees me in my struggles just as he has many other saints. I also know that He wants me to be more like Him, and as much as I am failing the test, each experience is an opportunity to do that. Finally, I know He is a God who cares for ME.

So, will you pray for me; that I would see the amazing generosity of people before I see our need. That I would be thankful for the one instead of the lack of the many. That I would rejoice in the opportunities of others than wishing it for myself. God has truly been good to me!

“All this pain I wonder if I’ll ever find my way?

I wonder if my life could really change at all?”

I am driving into Granada, and the music has rotated back around to “You Make Beautiful Things”. The beginning words sound harsh, but I know that over the past year and a half I have wondered. Will I find my way in this land that is so different? Can I change in this marriage that causes me to look at myself and question what has been so normal but selfish?

“This song All this earth Could all that is lost ever be found? Could a garden come up from this ground at all?”

The huge, hulking volcano to the south looks bigger in the twilight, the setting sun casts an orange glow, making what is so dirty in the daytime seem pleasant. The city comes alive at this time of the day: people, animals, cars, buses moving freely, enjoying the reprieve from the heat, and happy to be out among friends.

“You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of the dust You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of us”

“Hunger for More”, the name of the study from that morning, says it all. I would like to say that I always want more of God, but really it is hard to be vulnerable, to hurt in front of others;  it is a lesson in knowing God, in letting myself be changed.

“All around Hope is springing up from this old ground Out of chaos life is being found in You”

Last week we had  28 at our new neighborhood Bible study- a wonderful confirmation that people are wanting hope. God supplied the people, but he also took care of the “chaos” from the week before. $100 bought us 20 chairs, a friend donated a case of Bibles, a couple offered to supply us with treats each week, and a man at slipped me a $20 bill, “Use it for your ministry”.

“You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of the dust You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of us”

This afternoon Yescana and Jonathan came over. They are neighbor teens who are interested in learning English. I think they also want something that will make a difference in their lives. We laughed, we talked, they learned some English and I learned some Spanish, but mostly we started a friendship.

“Oh, you make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of the dust You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of us”

I am finding that I am not as quick to criticize, I am a little more trusting that God will provide, I am not as angry, living outside the city has been good for us, not isolating like I thought. And these people are not just Nicaraguans, but Victor, Oscar, Tania, and Isabel.

“You make me new, You are making me new You make me new, You are making me new Making me new”

Modified from: Gungor – Beautiful Things Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Many of you have seen pictures of the cat who adopted us from the first day we moved into our new home. As we opened up the gate, he sat on the fence across the street and meowed insistently at us. We could not touch him, but he wanted us to know that he was there.

He kept his distance for the first week. We would see him in the corner of the yard, or he would venture onto the porch if we did not come outside. With him, we could be on the porch with him, but if we moved in his direction he ran. My “catness” saw this as a challenge.  To win the trust of this little guy meant more than all of the dogs that come up freely wanting attention.

I remember the first time that he ventured into the house.  Cautiously looking around, ready to dart if he needed to.  I knew that Stephen was not interested in having a cat, but inside I rejoiced that I might have won over this precious creature.

A few days later he let me touch him. He loved the attention, but I think it scared him too. He was used to being wild and having to fend for himself, and it seemed that he was a little scared to get too comfortable.

One morning as I was cautiously petting him, Stephen said, “We should feed him and take care of him!”

Stephen, you do realize this means he would be our cat, right?” He smiled. I love that!

Over the intervening weeks, Queso, our cat, has become more and more comfortable with domestic living. The morning I came out of our room and saw him lounging on the couch, I knew we had him. He was a little sheepish about it, keeping eye contact with me to see if I would shoo him away.

Now he lets us hold him, on his terms, and he purrs like crazy any time you scratch his head. He greets us in the morning and meows insistently until we both pet him. He seems thrilled to have a home- sitting on the rug like a sphinx.

The other thing about him is that he does everything with gusto- if he is hungry, he meows loudly, if he is tired, he naps all sprawled out, if he wants to be pet, he rubs up against your leg with purpose, if he wants to play, he gets his whole body into it, when he walks, the combination of the slightly bowed front legs with a backend swagger that moves with his tail is awkwardly precious.

He is fun to have in our lives, for both of us, most of the time! It is nice to be trusted.

We had a wonderful problem tonight! Many of you might remember that a week and a half ago we went visiting our nieghbors to invite them to be part of a Bible study at our house. Tonight at 5:30 we wondered if anyone would show up; by 6 PM we had 20 people and by a little after 6 the number doubled.

Our problem was/is stuff; we do not have enough chairs for 40 people, we handed out all our Bibles and it met the requests but not the need, we could not hand out the snacks we had because we did not have enough, and now we have to make many more copies than anticipated of our study book- so many good problems!

What an amazing blessing to see 40 beautiful faces come through our gate, ranging from 4 months to 80 years. Stephen did a great job sharing his testimony,as well as the importance of our study- “Who is Jesus Christ?” Only a small number of our neighbors go to church or have a Bible.

So as we wait for other things, Solarbags and residency, we do what is before us; love our neighbors!

Today we went door to door inviting people to a Bible Study at our house starting in the end of January.  These are people that we have been smiling at, meeting on the road, receiving and giving rides to, watching them play baseball, working alongside them on the road, watching their animals and family interactions, and wondering how we fit into this new neighborhood.

This is not a neighborhood with asphalt streets, curbs or gutters. We do have tree lined streets but that is mostly because they have used trees as fencing to delineate property and streets. The yards are either swept or unswept dirt, and most of the houses would fit into your living room. Not just dogs are in the yards, but cows, horses, pigs, chickens, roosters, rabbits, and of course cats roam at will.

Instead of oaks and firs, there are banana, plantain, jicote, mango, neem, and others I do not recognize. Most flowering plants have no trouble attracting hummingbirds, butterflies, slow flying bee/flies, and people like us who are amazed on a daily basis of the vegetation around us. We have an amazing plant that has flowers with a yellow stacked interior and white trumpets coming off the top; this seems to be a favorite for the hummingbirds.

We received a variety of responses. Most people were shy but friendly at our approach. We have learned to greet them from where their property starts rather than go to the door. We got many “yeses”, but we also know that a “yes” here can mean that “I am just being polite” or it could be a “yes, I will be there.” It might also mean “I am curious about these people and how they live.” or it could mean “I want to come to learn more about God”.

We heard several “I am too busy”, some changing the subject, some fear of us being Catholic and some fear of us being evangelical. One man told us that we should go to a community not too far away and invite them because they have no church in their community; that is something to definitely look into.

Even before we went out, I wondered if I would do this in my neighborhood in the US. I would like to say yes to that question, but I know from experience that the thought would have crossed my mind, but I would have been too afraid to actually do it. I am disappointed about that.

When I think of the responses, I think they would have been similar in the States to what we received today. Maybe fewer “yeses” and more “We will see if I can find the time.” I think the language barrier and not completely knowing the culture worked in our favor today. It took away some of the fear of the unknown. I asked Oscar, Byron, and Austin, the guys to helped us today, if they were scared to invite people, and they said, “No, we are glad to do it.”  I have something to learn from these guys.

We will see the fruits of our and God’s labor on January 29^th! I am excited to see the results.

Friends-

Here is the second part of the saga from mid-December. As I mentioned yesterday, this situation has not been solved, but we have not gotten to part three; the part where God combines your prayers and His work to give us a miracle!

Thank you for standing with us in this,

Natalie

The Next Day-December 13

Stephen is an optimist in many things. I am what I would term a realist, but moving in the pessimists direction with each bureaucratic encounter.

When Stephen departed from the offices the night before, they told him to get there early the next morning so that he could get a place in line similar to the number he had. In no way was he given a bye for the time he already served. The placed opens at 8 AM, so he thought that if he left at 6 for the hour ride that he would be in good standings. When he arrived a bit after 7 AM the line was the equivalent of three city blocks- we have so much to learn.

We were expecting company for lunch, so I had stayed at home to make preparations. Periodically throughout the morning I got updates. Sometime around 10:30 I got the message that he was let inside the gate. About a half an hour late I got a call saying that he would only receive the goods if we paid $2800 in taxes and fees. The contents of the boxes cost less than $3000, and there was no way that we could even come up with $2800.

I was so sad and mad because adults and kids in the US had given their hard-earned money so that people in Nicaragua could have clean drinking water, yet this part of the government was more concerned about making a profit than the needs of their countrymen.

Stephen said he would call me back, but the next time I saw him was at the front gate about an hour and a half later. I was with our guests, debriefing some, and in the intervening time read the December 12^th entry in Jesus Calling (I was a day behind in my reading):

“Every detail of your life in under my control. Moreover, everything fits into a pattern for good to those who love Me and are called according to My design and purpose. Because the world is in an abnormal, fallen condition, people tend to think that chance governs the universe….Submerged beneath the surface of the visible world are mysteries too vast for you to      comprehend. …That is why you must live by faith and not by sight.”

I tried to argue that one. Every detail except for the Nicaraguan government is under God’s control, but that blasted my theology out of the water, so I had to trust, albeit grudgingly that this too could work out for good.

Meanwhile Stephen had left Managua in frustration and knew he would benefit from listening to Podcasted sermon rather than rehearsing the morning events on the ride home. He listened to Pastor Dave from our home church, Cedar Mill Bible Church. For 45 minutes he heard about the travesty of having a condemning spirit towards others. The conviction was too obvious to ignore; even with the frustrations and absurdities, he had no godly right to condemn these people.

So we wait, we pray, and we expect God intervention so that we can share the rest of the story with you, and you can praise God with us.

The following is a “To Be Continued”, with the next part coming tomorrow. The events occurred a month ago, but are still an issue today. We are just now about to get back to this since government offices are now open from the holidays. We ask your fervent prays for this, as we know that only God can clear the way.

Thank you, Natalie

Bureaucracy-December 12

In the past few weeks, we have had several opportunities to see how things work here. Our biggest experience and one that is not complete is the importing of Solarbags. Our original plan was to have them brought in a container owned by a friend. It seemed like a great idea, until we found out that he already had three containers waiting in customs here, and that the one we hoped to use was going to be delayed being sent for a few months because of the other containers.

Plan Two was put together by our Board President. He connected with a well-known shipping company, and was able to send the 100 Solarbags to us for $300; more than we wanted to spend, but a reasonable rate since it covered customs, shipping and other fees.

After two weeks we were summoned to the shipping companies office (let’s just call them VPS), saying that we needed to pay $40 and we would be able to get our stuff. Of course we could not get it that day because it was in customs at the airport. They kept asking us if we needed to change the name on our items and if we had a broker; we did not really know what that meant, but in hindsight it would have given us a clue.

A week later, they called to say that we had two choices. 1) Get a importers license (I can only imagine how long that will take!) or 2) change the name on our packages to Stephen Marc Goff instead of NResponse2-Stephen Goff- very confusing, right? We opted for the second, with the understanding that by paying $15 to change this that we would get our packages.

The next step was to be directed over to the office at the airport. After talking with them, they made it very clear that we were on our own once we had the paperwork in our name. This should have been clue #2. A woman walked us about three blocks to a place where about 40 people were standing around waiting. There was a large gate and it was clear that only the right people could go in. The security guard looked at our paper work, and Stephen was the right person and I was not. For the next three hours he was on the inside and I was waiting with the lady who sold food, tape, and rented out chairs. Being the only gringa in the area invites a lot of attention. A man talked with me for about an hour, sharing with me that he had been waiting for his girlfriend for about three hours. He was very familiar with this process, which allows Nicaraguans to receive $500 worth of things every six months. I saw a lot of big screen TV boxes, beat up boxes with clothes and shoes tumbling out, and knowing that money was changing hands. My time outside had frustration, kindness, and some understanding as I saw people turned away from receiving their things as well as was offered a seat for free from the kind lady with chairs and supplies. Later, I saw this same lady who was 50ish, thinly built and in high-heels give a right handed hook to a man who was pestering her. The time was boring, but definitely not dull!

What I did not know during my three and a half hour wait was what was happening inside the gate.

The first thing he heard when he was released into the area was “Administracion”.  He headed toward a series of doors, and number 3 was Administracion. He thought, “This is going well”. The administrator stamped his paperwork, and then he was off to the next line. For the next two and a half hours, he was shuffled from one place to the next, asked to make photocopies in an unknown location, asked to make more photocopies that then were not required, and finally being asked to buy tape so that he could tape up his stuff after it was gone through. The door of hope opened again as he was let into a caged area so that he could open the boxes sent to us. He saw, he touched, and then he was escorted out of the room, thinking that there must be one more thing to sign and then someone will bring the items. I saw him through the gate at this point; he was happily walking toward an office. I was watching employees leave the primacies.

About 20 minutes late he walks to the gate with no boxes, and he can’t seem to get a word out of his mouth. Finally he says, “I have to come back tomorrow, because they are closing for the day”. The absurdity of it all was somewhere between laughing and crying.

We are always learning. Here was my lesson today.

About three weeks ago we moved to a new house. This house it about a ¼ mile off the main road. This road starts out smoothish and then turns into a road with more potholes than road. There were three large holes right near our house that have particularly bothered me because I felt like we would bottom out each time we passed over them. My wish for Christmas was to have the road graded.

My wish did not come true, but I did notice a large pile of sand, gravel and pieces of cement around the corner from the potholes, and I figured that it I filled up 5-10 small pails a day then in a few days the holes would be filled it. It seemed manageable in the heat and good for my Christmas waistline.

This morning, as Stephen headed out to pick up the mechanic (a different issue), I headed out to start the job. I filled up 5 pails and dumped them in the holes, making a small mountain in the pothole. On one of my return trips to the pile I was shoveling from, a crippled man and a woman with a baby approached. He picked up the shovel and insisted on filling a few pails. I thanked him and returned to my task.

On pail ten, the woman returned on her bicycle and picked up the shovel. She kept filling the pails as I went and dumped them. At times, she would fill both and dump one while I only dumped one. About five minutes later, her cousin came up and started helping. We were forming a road improvement team!

Between the three of us we filled the holes and a little more.

Stephen and I are still in the place of interpreting many of the situations we are in because of our minimal Spanish. My interpretation from this experience was this: people want to help, they do not always have the tools, but they have a heart to serve when given the tools and the opportunity.

We were told by a friend that Nicaraguans do not want foreigners to come in and take a job from them. They want to be given the tools to do it and encouraged in the process. What I know is that I am very thankful for the help I was given, that we worked together for the betterment of our community, and I made some new friends.

I guess that I really want what they want, too; someone to work alongside and the tools and encouragement to do it. I was feeling thankful to be standing in the dust and sweat and heat working alongside these individuals!

I feel like I have a full brain load of blogs to try to catch you up to date on the last few weeks; Moving, Christmas, Customs, a friend’s wedding, another friend’s graduation, shopping in the market, etc… I will start with some of the basics.

Stephen and I moved from our house in town to living two kilometers outside of town. We went from heard, “El pan”, and fireworks at 4 AM to hearing roosters, the wind in the trees, and the sound of a saw.

Here is what is new:

• In the afternoon when I look out my kitchen window, I see cows; the neighbors have two black cows that munch through the field from 2 PM until dark.
• Stephen has a front porch where he can make sawdust; many of you saw his great creations posted on Facebook this week. We are getting organized in our new house that is less than half of what moved from.
• We have cats! I must say, I have cats, because Stephen is not really interested in having cats. We are visited daily by two orange tabby kittens, Cheddar and Queso, who are very curious about their new neighbors.
• We have plants to water, a driveway to park in, and screens on our windows; we are thankful for these small things for beauty, convenience, and fewer bugs.
• Fewer small bugs I might add. In the first three days we found three three inch scorpions in the house. I am weary of dark places now, the rumor is that they are as scared of me and I am of them. I remember something like that as a kid when my parents would spank me- “This hurts me more that it will hurt you”- I did not believe it then!
• We are a little closer to Managua which has been very helpful with our frequent trips of sorting out residency, customs, supplies for the new house, and visiting friends. I use the words loosely “sorting out”, because it is really us who are being sorted out; our attitudes have been severely challenged as we work in the bureaucracy of the country.
• We got the title “Best Tenents” Award from our landlord, because Stephen and put in a water filter as well as replaced the hot water heater. We plan to do what we can to continue to get that award!
• Stephen and I had a competition to see who could get the old lady in the neighborhood to smile first. I won, because I gave her a ride to the top of the street. I do use the term “street” loosely also because it is more like a washed out creek bed. My Christmas wish is for someone to fill in the holes.
• And finally, we still have a guest room, so whenever you want to book it, just contact me!
• This is our new address; actually, it is more like directions to our house, but the bills are able to find their way here, so I assume mail will, too!
  • Stephen and Natalie GoffGranada, Granada, Nicaragua 43000
  • De la UDO, 10 vrs Sur, 10 vrs Ese Carretera Granada-Masaya

Merry Christmas to you all!